The scope of domestic violence against men 

Public awareness of domestic violence against men is low, despite the fact that:

•  1 in 3 victims of domestic violence (DV) are men
•  There is a 50/50 split between men and women as the primary aggressor
•  In 2017/18, 6000 women were convicted of abuse

And interestingly, male DV victims are also:
•  Generally older
•  86% are white / British
•  Have a vulnerability such as deafness which is used against them
•  Still live or are in a relationship with their abuser
 
The last point is particularly pertinent. As family lawyers, many of us have seen first-hand the devastating impact of domestic violence, abuse and coercive control on the victim, their children, their family, and often their careers. The stigma of domestic violence against men often means they do not get the support, advice or protection they need.

Fear of losing everything

Many men who are victims of domestic violence don't report it because of their fear of losing everything: access to their children, their home, their career, and their relationship. Reporting abuse may also prove to be very costly financially for the victim, particularly if coercive control is used.


There have been few studies on the differences between male and female coercive control, but specific coercive control over men may include:
•  False allegations against those in powerful and high profile jobs
•  Threats to damage their reputation outside of work
•  Gaslighting and isolation
•  Constant criticism
•  Manipulated contraception
•  Financial abuse
•  Legal and administrative aggression


The financial cost

The abuser may embroil their victim in endless custody disputes, aim to delay proceedings, influence children through parental alienation, and invoke financial abuse through litigation pressure.

Equally, the constant need for male victims to to enforce child arrangements through the court is costly and time-consuming. Court appearances inevitably affect a parent’s ability to work and earn an income, due to the need to take precious days off preparing for and being present at court appearances.

Nowhere to go

Across the UK, there are only 2160 refuge spaces for domestic violence victims, of which just 36 are assigned to male victims of domestic abuse. This needs to change if male domestic violence victims are to get the support, advice or protection they need. It’s also a very concerning statistic as, at the time of writing, the UK is in lockdown, making movement more difficult. 


Now, more than ever, as family lawyers we need to listen with empathy and understanding, to help male victims of DV take the best route to exit an abusive relationship safely and without losing what’s most precious to them.